DM Portraits: Two

Owner of a small DM agency in Bath. Or somewhere.

Oxford educated. Wears a suit jacket, open shirt and jeans. Bald head. Thick glasses. Tall.

Understands the theory of marketing entirely. Has no instinct for it at all. He reads the books, and the trade press, and says the things that people who are in the know are supposed to say. He just wanted to do something that would impress his uni friends. And his Dad. Advertising and Graphic Design sounded just right. Luckily enough, he had the money to start a company.

Calls himself a 'planner', but in reality he's no such thing. In reality, he's an entrepeneur.

He respects creatives. He likes meetings. I mean, he really likes meetings. He likes to own the meetings. If he could, he'd actually marry a meeting.

He is all over clients like a rash. Pushy, elbowy, yuppie, shithouse.

He leans back in his chair at meetings and puts his hands behind his head. He nods a lot. his nodding is louder than the person speaking.

He has fucking dinner parties every weekend. He values money and status - he drives a sports car. One of Thatcher's children, he loves his life.

His agency is shite.

Doesn't say "strategy," he says "sdradegy." Doesn't say "creative," he says "creadive."

Have you seen this man?

He probably shagged a female client of yours for a slice of business.

The twat.